'87...What A GREAT Year

All around, I had a fan-flippin-tastic weekend! But I guess I pretty much knew that was going to be the case, because MBSE came to visit.

MBSE is, without a doubt, the sexiest female in my life! Hands down...
Ass like POW, lips like Ohhhh, chest like BAM! All of this adds up to a good looking girl, but it is her attitude that sets her apart from the eleventybillion other females with whom I want to get my dick wet. She is a Tsaoist!

When I originally met her she didn't know she was. I didn't even know at that time, as the belief system was in its infancy (it is still, and always will be, progressing). Plus she was also only 18 and not yet wise to the ways of the spiritual world...(ah hell, I'll give that one a double plus "++")

Here are some of her highlights:
1)Doesn't want anything to do with growing a baby in herself.
2)Does not require 100% exclusivity with me.
3)ONLY wants the desirable parts of a relationship.

Point #1: Now this, in and of itself, is enough for me to think a girl is pretty hot, but the effect of this belief is what is gilding the lily. Birth control is not 100% effective, but that cum has to go somewhere (I don't fill up the vajayjay. I'm not a betting man). This is where it gets fun...I LOVE SKEETING!...SHE LOVES ME SKEETING! Side note definition: Skeeting, verb, gilding the lily (hot girl), shining the shit (other).

The way MBSE wants my man-juice is hot too. Sometimes before we are even together I'll get a text: "My boobies haven't had your cum on them in a while..." Damn! Sometimes I'll be mid coitus and she'll just declare that she wants my sperm-soup in her mouth. Hot Damn! But my favorite usually happens when I'm doin the dirt doggy-style and she mutters through orgasmic gasps for air that she wants me to "cum in her ass". GOD DAMN! I SAID GOD DAMN!

This weekend was no different. She had told me earlier in the week that she wanted me to fuck her in a public place. Hard. While bending her over something. Being the gentleman Tsaoist that I am, I picked her up in Missoula and we drove out to Blue Mountain Rec Area. We got out of the car, I bent her over the hood, lifted up her sarong and got down to business. A couple cars came by, but hesitate we did NOT! Finally I'm ready to erupt, so she spins around and drops down and takes it like a Japanese dude in a hotdog eating contest. I was watching her, but took the time to look up...sure enough, there is a car about 50 yards away cummin straight at us...lights on bright. Did I flinch? Hell no! I took that opportunity to just let it go and enjoy my 5 seconds of fame as the guy getting blown in a parking lot in somebody else's story.

Point #2: This is my favorite part of MBSE's belief in Tsaoism. Mainly because it allows me to retain my independence. Nothing makes my mind want drop a deuce on my life more than a codependent (fuck you Kiki, I'm bangin a GILF). I can't stand a girl that thinks she can start making my decisions because she let me go deep a couple of times. "Hey Jonnie, last time I checked you were having more orgasms per lay than me, so let's quit pretending that you are doing me some sort of sex-favor. I'm not your indentured servant!"

MBSE is the first girl that I've gone against my "originally ingrained brain patterns of being in a relationship" (read: instinct), and just did whatever I wanted. If I want to not call her all day, and instead go longboarding for hours on end...no prob. If I'm going to get shitty drunk and watch fights until the wee hours of night and never look at my phone...no prob. I never return to a cell phone that is packed with "where are you" texts. And the flip side of that coin holds true for me as well. If she doesn't answer a text for a couple of days, I don't go chasing her down to find out what she is up to. Ain't my business, ain't my problem.

Point #3: Relationships (pronounced relationshits in Tsao) can be the anti-poon. Nothing will turn a raging boner into a wet noodle faster than muddying up the preverbial sexy pond with a hefty load of Luis Vuitton grade A baggage. Luckily for me, MBSE packs light. Usually just a pair of sandals, a sarong, some support for her beautiful bouncy natural boobs and a glass dildo (Ask me about the wonders of glass. Seriously. Greatest idea ever).

When I want to be with her I give her a call, and she does the same towards me. When either of us wants to do something else, we need not "check in" or verify that it is ok to do. It is like a crazy Daft Punk remix of "Being Single" and "Relationshit". The kind of song where you think both of the original songs are pretty good, but the mash up is blowing your friggin mind!

Spoiler Alert!
The song is called "Tsaolationship"
Lyrics on my next post.

Moving on...

MBSE. My favorite. End of story.