If you have been reading this blog for a while, you may have started to wonder what my credentials are for putting the "S" Taoism (the "S" stands for sexual). You are probably thinking right now "I'm more sexually experienced and far better looking than Kevin. He hasn't even had himself a 3some yet". And while this may be true, I was given one life advantage that many of my older readers were never afforded. I had a personal computer and high speed internet since I was pretty young.
You probably don't think that my last point is terribly exciting. Due to the fact that you are reading my blog instead of waiting for a 84kb file to download to your electronic-mail, this pretty much qualifies you as a high speed internet user yourself. The main difference is based in timing. I got my high speed internet right at the convergence of my peak sexual curiosity and the internet's growth into its "anything will sell here" attitude. This coupled with my own computer in the safety of my own bedroom created a virtual Petri dish for the nastyvirus (or is that nasteria?) that is my desire to know all things dirty.
No longer was I using the emergency shut-down techniques of days past when I heard one of my parents coming down the stairs and I was balls deep into a serious jerk session. No more would I have to face the awkwardness of me and the UPS guy staring at each other after I foolishly thought I had a good 20 minutes to chill DIH over a lunch break. Now I was able to scan the depths of the filthiest smut that my adolescent brain could find free of outside disturbances.
It wasn't long before we (me, another person and this other dude) discovered the pure quantity of pornography that Hotline could afford our hungry souls. Soon we were distributing CDs of this high school gold out of our lockers to the poor sons-of-bitches that didn't have the luxuries me and my brother were afforded when we bought our iMac Special Editions on that fateful day.
Skip forward to 2000 and I've just landed myself in Butte and was getting accustomed to the place. Kids everywhere were pulling up their new favorite spank-bank sites and the "new" sick videos that they had found/taken off of the school network. Each one of them thinking they had discovered some sort of fountain of youth on the Dell that they spent half of their graduation money on (the other half was clearly spent on cheap weed and Busch Light. Hence that summer was FUCKING AWESOME!). What most of them didn't know was that they were sitting amongst an internet porn Dalai Lama.
I started to learn that while I was way behind on banging high school cheerleaders in the football locker room, I was WAY ahead on watching 30 year olds pretend to be cheerleaders and get gangbanged by dudes that would be thrown in the slammer if they even got close to a high school locker room (unless you count Jay Wall, he would have fit perfect in those movies). I started adding some real life interesting/strange sexual experiences onto my chalkboard of knowledge (that I will hopefully share with you on future blogs) and I decided that I should finally take it to the "streets" (read: blogspot).
Since then I have dedicated my life to the study (not to be confused with fromthestudy.wordpress.com) of understanding and implementing the letter "S" into an everyday life belief system (read: Tao).
Amen to Tsao...
Monday, April 21, 2008
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1 comment:
Purchase a "hunting" compound in Texas and get your followers to build you a sex shrine of stone quarried from the land. Then I'll consider Tsaoism....unless you are the only one that gets to have sex... then I'm out.
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