Airline Tsaoism

Recently I've been flying a lot.  This means that I've been stuck in airports without free wireless and relying on m.youtube.com to stream mindless garbage into my brain via the cell phone internets.  It also means that I've had a lot of time to work on patients and anger emotional evasion techniques.  Most people don't practice these techniques and it quickly becomes apparent how readily people will loss their minds over situations that are completely out of their control.

It doesn't matter how loudly somebody curses the airlines or the airports, that lightning storm is still going to be hanging over MSP airport, and the crew is not going to be able to load your baggage into the plane.  Furthermore it doesn't matter how many times you turn to me in your seat and sigh heavily, we aren't going to land in Billings anytime before 1am.

It doesn't have to be that way.  You simply need to be a touch creative.  I do that while basing my creativity in the roots of Tsaoism.  

For instance:  The Billings Logan International airport has one of the slowest baggage claims in the continental [The] United States.  Most people take that time to brew up a tasty batch of pissed-the-fuck-off with a side salad of grumbling-at-the-floor.  I'm much more clever.  Here's the scoop.

Using deductive reasoning I estimated that the baggage would again be slow on my final return from Madison WI, so I called ahead to MBSE with a game plan, and followed that sales call with a text the moment we had touchdown.

Text from Me:  Touchdown

Now that I'm in the elite status with NWA (airline...not the rap group,  although I really wish I were), I get to sit first class.  This means that I'm first off that plane and first coming down the escalator.  I don't stop there.  I keep on trucking past the baggage claim and right out door 4.  There, waiting like a rally car with a sexy driver...actually not like that, that exactly...is MBSE in my STi.  We let the motor spin, the turbo boost and the clutch drop on our way to a dark parking lot not even a 1/2 mile away.

She is in a sarong without those time consuming panties that seem to take a lifetime to remove, and I've expedited my race towards full nudity by not owning a pair of underroos.  Now with the windows down far enough for legs to jet out into the night and let the moans of 10 days in Madison without touch escape, we work up and incredible sex sweat.

There...all better.

I fire the STi back up and roll to door 4, walk inside as the bell goes off for the luggage to start moving out and 3 bags later I have my checked bag in hand.

Only thing left to do on a night like that is to poke a little smot, drink some beers downtown and return for the scheduled double-header.

Tsao be with you...(and also with you)